You and your clitoris: five iconic moments

Leave your thoughts

1- When it oppresses

The clitoris is an erectile body above all—yes, ma’am—and has three times the nerve endings of its friend the penis. So when the glans (covered by the cap, bravo) of your clit rubs up against your boxers or an ill-fitting pair of jeans, it’s normal to get excited or just plain hurt … You aren’t crazy, you know.

2- When it keeps you up at night

Wondering what that slight tension in your underwear is in the wee hours of the morning? I’ve got news for you: you’ve just been the happy victim of a nocturnal erection. Because, yes, like the penis, the clitoris does towering tricks in the middle of the night and pretty much whenever else it wants. But since humanity only believes what it sees and the clitoris is relatively teeny, no one gives a damn. Except for us of course.

3- When it’s scrubbed like a week’s worth of dishes

Masturbation is good for the health. For bipeds with a clitoris, it’s even better, thanks to their multi-orgasmic capabilities. But over-stimulating your own or your partner’s clitoris can hurt! So, yes, you’re allowed to let out a “kiaii” (war cry) when you feel your clit giving out. Give it a rest. All things come to her who waits.

4- When it grows

Has something about your clit been troubling you lately in your moments alone? Do you get the sneaking suspicion that it has changed? Well, it has! The clitoris is a little like the nose: it grows as you get older. When you hit 30, it will be four times bigger than it was when you were 15. After menopause? Seven times bigger than when you were born. You can try to watch it grow, or rub it (pretend you’re watching your favourite show) to help it grow faster. In vain. And yet, small but mighty, it’s a heavyweight in your pants.

5- When it’s sucked

Cunnilingus is great. But gobbling up a clitoris whole without warning is not. Yes, we know, it might be the most beautiful organ in the world, and the faint taste of sucette à l’anis drives you crazy. But come on. Slow down. You just might set that lake ablaze. Yes, it’s possible.

By Daisy Le Corre

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